Seeking annulment of a marriage
Question:-
I am writing to seek assistance in the matters related to the annulment of my marriage.
My Background :
My husband at the time, suddenly went missing at the end of 2014, and we later came to know that he had fled to Syria to join ISIS. He abandoned myself and our son ( 5yrs old at the time) without any support or message.
In 2018 I had filed for divorce through the Bangladeshi legal system. The Muslim Qadhi (of the Court based in Dhaka) annulled the marriage. We are from Dhaka and got married there. Legally the divorce went through and 3 notices were sent to his mum’s place and his mum let my husband know about the divorce over telephone.
Just to mention that there was no contact between my husband and me at that time because of where he had relocated to.
I recently came to know that he denies the divorce altogether and still considers us married . When I recently contacted him by email asking him to give me Talaaq – he blatantly replied that he will not divorce me, and I should rather get the Nikah annulled through an Islamic Centre or Imam, if I’m that desperate and can’t have patience any more. I am taken aback and consider this a form of Dhulm, as he has not supported or maintained my son or myself for the last 8yrs.
I want divorce from him and wish to move on, thus I sought advice and help from different muftis . I had contacted a Darul Uloom in SA as I have huge respect and trust in South African Ulema and Muftis. I was referred to a U.K. Mufti as I have relocated to the U.K.
This U.K. based mufti has now referred me to a website / Shari board in Dewsbury which charges around R5500 – https://shareecouncil.com/services/islamic-divorce-faskh-or-khula
An initial 20% of the fee must be sent with the application. Alternatively, they may contact one of the following charities for financial assistance:
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National Zakat Foundation https://nzf.org.uk/
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Ihsan Compassion Fund ihsanfunduk.org
The amount is quite a bit , especially for a single mother like me ,working part time with no family /financial support.
I do not mind paying as I understand Ulama also require to earn a living but in terms of paying the amount before anything is done and saying that I can apply for Zakaat to fund it – makes me hesitant as SA Ulama have never asked for any fees to issue a ruling, and I would be more comfortable with paying SA Ulama rather than the UK council as I have more confidence in SA ulema.
My questions are:
1. From my story does it seem like my marriage is still valid and the divorce in 2018 was invalid ? In that case would you be able to issue a ruling to get my marriage annulled please.
2. How can a man claim to hold on to his wife (ex-wife rather) when he hasn’t provided for her or their child in the last 8 years?
Now refusing to give divorce (when I contacted him by email )and ordering me to get the marriage annulled through a mufti / Islamic centre, is this not a form of Dhulm?
3. Wherever I’m based , why can’t the muftis in SA give me a ruling and get my marriage annulled? Why does it have to be U.K. based muftis and not South African muftis , for whom I have huge respect? Shar’i rulings are meant to be the same for anyone being in the situation that I am in, regardless of where “I” live, as this doesn’t change the facts that my ex-husband has left me/our son, where he’d relocated , that he doesn’t provide any maintenance or unable to give me my marital rights etc.
I’m desperate to come out of this marriage and want to follow the proper the Shari’ee ruling
Some of the Ulama I’ve asked did not acknowledge or even respond to my plea for help. I’m becoming very despondent and need your guidance.
Answer:-
1. Based on what you have stated in your query, we understand that the Bangdalesh Shari’ee court annulled the marriage. However, we are not aware of the details of the annulment, hence making it difficult for us to comment. We understand that you trust and have confidence in the South African Ulama but it really makes it difficult for us to comment without knowing the full details of the case.
The Fuqaha have written that if a person goes out to war and remains absent for a period of 4 years, and his whereabouts are unknown and the Muslim judge feels that the missing person has passed on, then he could pass the verdict that the missing person is now considered as deceased and the wife will be freed from her marital bond. However, this ruling will be reached after thoroughly investigating the matter. [Re:- Imdaad-ul-Muftiyeen Pg.556]
In your particular case, it seems that you were aware of the whereabouts of your husband and it was known that he was alive. Your correspondence therefore states his mother communicated the message of divorce to him over the telephone. We therefore assume that the marriage couldn’t have been annulled on the basis that he was deceased.
Annulling the marriage is not a simple, straight-forward process whereby the scholars are permitted to annul a marriage by listening to one party and reaching a decision. There is a lengthy procedure that needs to be followed before annulling a marriage. You will have to express your grievances before an annulment committee and they would then summon your husband to come in. He will be given a fair chance to defend himself. After listening to both sides, the annulment committee could afford your husband the opportunity to reform and correct his ways. If he reforms and fulfils your rights then you will not have any grounds for annulment. Yes, if he continues to default then you may request the annulment committee to review the case and they could then go ahead with the annulment.
Since, you are in the U.K. it is difficult for us to accommodate your case in South Africa. It is for this reason that the South African Ulama have advised that the matter be referred to any of the Ulama bodies in the U.K.
2. If he is not providing for you and your child, then you should file for annulment (particularly if the previous annulment was not valid)
It is the duty of the husband to provide for his wife and children, and he cannot just abandon his wife and child without providing for them at all, and if he still continues not maintaining you and your child, hence you have grounds for annulment. The matter needs to be presented to the annulment committee and they will then decide on the matter after listening to both parties.
3. This has already been discussed above in detail in #1. I hope that it is now clear to you as to why it is difficult for the Muftis in South Africa to handle this particular case.
ALLAH TA’ALA KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:-
Mufti Mohammed Desai
Date:14 Shabaan 1443 / 17 March 2022