Transcribed from the Islaahi Majlis conducted on 19/10/2023
Allah Ta’ala has placed a lot of love in the hearts of parents for their children. And vice versa, Allah Ta’ala has placed love in the hearts of children for their parents. However, as children grow up and reach different milestones, gradually that love starts to diminish. A person gets married and has his own family and that also affects the measure of love he has for his parents. Perhaps he relocates to another country for a job opportunity-this distance will also cause a decrease in the love one has for his parents. In short, the love will always be there but not to same extent that it was when the child was still dependent on his parents. On the contrary, the love parents have for their children remains constant. Even if the child reaches the age of 60, and his mother is alive, she would still be conscious of his every need and desire. That is the love that Allah Ta’ala has placed in the hearts of parents.
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam’s Words of Wisdom Regarding Children
عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الْأَسْوَدِ بْنِ خَلَفٍ ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَخَذَ حُسَيْنًا فَقَبَّلَهُ ، ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ عَلَيْهِمْ ، فَقَالَ: ” إِنَّ الْوَلَدَ مَبْخَلَةٌ مَجْبَنَةٌ مَجْهَلَةٌ مَحْزَنَةٌ “(المستدك للحاكم #5351)
Muhammad Bin Aswad Bin Khalaf narrates from his father Radiallahu Anhu, Certainly Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam held Hussain Radiallahu Anhu and kissed him. He then turned to them and said, “Verily the child is a place of miserliness, cowardliness, ignorance and a place of grief.
Hadrat Khawla Binte Hakeem Radiallahu Anha was first married to Hadrat Uthmaan bin Madh’oon Radiallahu Anhu. She enjoyed a very close relationship with Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and mentions that once, Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came out of his house while kissing one of his grandchildren. He then picked his grandchild up and said, “You (our grandchildren) make us miserly.” Meaning that, parents put their own needs and wants aside and give preference to their children. For example, a father buys a watch intended for himself but instead, he puts it away safely thinking that his child will grow up and use it. Many a times parents put money aside with the intention of investing it for their children’s future.
The narration continues, “…and you make us cowards…”, meaning that a person wants to go out in Jihaad but he thinks of his children and family. As a person ages, he becomes less concerned with himself and more with his children. As a young parent, one would be focused on securing a home, car and all amenities, but once he passes the age of 45 or so, his concern becomes his child’s future-finding a suitable partner for him, securing a home for him etc.
Then Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam added, “…. you make us ignorant…”, meaning that once a person’s worldly responsibilities increase, very seldom does he excel in the knowledge of Deen. Hadrat Umar Radiallahu Anhu advised, “Before becoming a leader, acquire knowledge.”
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said further, “…but you are from the flowers of Allah Ta’ala.” Despite all these challenges, the love of a parent for his child is unwavering. A parent exudes so much affection for his child in many different ways, be it physically, financially, emotionally etc.
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ الأَقْرَعَ بْنَ حَابِسٍ، أَبْصَرَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يُقَبِّلُ الْحَسَنَ فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ وَاحِدًا مِنْهُمْ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ إِنَّهُ مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمْ لاَ يُرْحَمْ ”)البخاري # 5997(
Once Aqra Bin Haabis saw Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam kissing Hadrat Hassan Radiallahu Anhu. He said, “I have ten children and I do not kiss any one of them.” Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam replied, “He who does not show mercy to others is not shown mercy.”
The Ulama have written that the more a person shows mercy to his children, Allah Ta’ala shows mercy to him.
Mercy to Makhlooq begets Mercy from the Most Merciful
عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: جَاءَ أَعْرَابِيٌّ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ: أَتُقَبِّلُونَ صِبْيَانَكُمْ؟ فَمَا نُقَبِّلُهُمْ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: أَوَ أَمْلِكُ لَكَ أَنْ نَزَعَ اللَّهُ مِنْ قَلْبِكَ الرَّحْمَةَ؟)الأدب المفرد #90)
A Bedouin came to Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and asked, “Do you kiss your children, we do not kiss them.” Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam replied, “If Allah Ta’ala has taken out mercy from your heart, then what can I do?”
عَنْ عَامِرٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ النُّعْمَانَ بْنَ بَشِيرٍ، يَقُولُ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم “ تَرَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ فِي تَرَاحُمِهِمْ وَتَوَادِّهِمْ وَتَعَاطُفِهِمْ كَمَثَلِ الْجَسَدِ إِذَا اشْتَكَى عُضْوًا تَدَاعَى لَهُ سَائِرُ جَسَدِهِ بِالسَّهَرِ وَالْحُمَّى ”)صحيح البخاري #6011)
Aamir Radiallahu Anhu narrates I heard Nu’maan Bin Basheer Radiallahu Anhu saying, “You will see the believers in their mercy for one another, their love for each other and their affection for one another, they are like one body. If one part of the body experiences pain, the entire body experiences sleeplessness and fever.”
What love Allah Ta’ala has placed in this Ummah!
Reward of Nurturing Daughters
عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: مَنْ عَالَ ثَلَاثَ بَنَاتٍ، فَأَدَّبَهُنَّ، وَزَوَّجَهُنَّ، وَأَحْسَنَ إِلَيْهِنَّ، فَلَهُ الْجَنَّةُ(سنن ابي داود #5147)
Hadrat Abu Saeed Khudri Radiallahu Anhu narrates that Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “Who brings up three daughters, teaches them etiquettes, gets them married and is kind towards them, then he will acquire Jannah.”
Another Hadith states, “If a person has three daughters or three sisters, or 2 daughters or 2 sisters, and he fulfils their rights, Jannah becomes obligatory on such a person.”
Hafiz Ibn Hajar Asqalani Rahmatullahi Alaihi mentions that despite the narration mentioning 2 or 3 daughters or sisters, if a person has one daughter or sister, and he takes cares of her, he will receive the same virtue.
عَنْ صَعْصَعَةَ، عَمِّ الأَحْنَفِ قَالَ دَخَلَتْ عَلَى عَائِشَةَ امْرَأَةٌ مَعَهَا ابْنَتَانِ لَهَا فَأَعْطَتْهَا ثَلاَثَ تَمَرَاتٍ فَأَعْطَتْ كُلَّ وَاحِدَةٍ مِنْهُمَا تَمْرَةً ثُمَّ صَدَعَتِ الْبَاقِيَةَ بَيْنَهُمَا . قَالَتْ فَأَتَى النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ فَحَدَّثْتُهُ فَقَالَ “ مَا عَجَبُكِ لَقَدْ دَخَلَتْ بِهِ الْجَنَّةَ ” (سنن ابن ماحة #3668)
A mother approached Hadrat Aisha Radiallahu Anha with her two daughters and asked if there was something she could give them. Hadrat Aisha Radiallahu Anha had two dates and gave it to her. The mother gave one each to her daughters and left nothing for herself. Hadrat Aisha Radiallahu Anha waited for Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam to return and related the incident to him. Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “Whoever is tested through his daughters, they will become barriers for him from the fire of Jahannam.” These daughters will pull their parents into Jannah.
عن حرملة بن عمران قال: سمعت أبا عشانة المعافري قال سَمِعْتُ عُقْبَةَ بْنَ عَامِرٍ، يَقُولُ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ يَقُولُ “ مَنْ كَانَ لَهُ ثَلاَثُ بَنَاتٍ فَصَبَرَ عَلَيْهِنَّ وَأَطْعَمَهُنَّ وَسَقَاهُنَّ وَكَسَاهُنَّ مِنْ جِدَتِهِ – كُنَّ لَهُ حِجَابًا مِنَ النَّارِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ” (سنن ابن ماحة #3669)
Uqbah Bin Aamir says, I heard Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam saying, “Whoever has three daughters and he is patient upon them, he feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his efforts, then they will be a barrier for him from the fire of Jahannam on the day of Qiyaamah.”
Verdict of Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam
Abu Hurairah Radiallahu Anhu mentions that during the time of Hadrat Dawud Alaihis Salaam, there were two women; an older woman and a younger woman. They were walking together, each with one child. A wolf came and snatched one of the children away. The two women subsequently fought over the child who was left. Both claimed that the child belonged to them. They took their dispute to Nabi Dawud Alaihis Salaam and he ruled that the child belonged to the elder woman. After leaving his court, they met Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam who asked them what his father’s verdict was? They told him that Nabi Dawud Alaihis Salaam ruled that the child belonged to the elder woman. Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam wasn’t satisfied with this ruling. Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam said the way of resolving the matter was to cut the child in half and give each woman half of the child. On hearing this, the younger woman shrieked with grief and said, “I don’t want the child. Give it to the older woman!” When she did this, Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam said that the child belonged to the younger woman. Her reaction showed that she could not bear the child going through pain or suffering, which only a mother would feel. Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam thus ruled in favour of the younger woman. His verdict would concur with the verdict of Allah Ta’ala.
Three Duas of Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam
Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam was given the task of constructing Masjidul Aqsa. On completion of the building, Nabi Sulaiman Alaihis Salaam made three Duas:
“O Allah! When I pass a verdict, let my verdict correspond with Your verdict.”
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said that this Dua was accepted by Allah Ta’ala.
The second Dua was, “O Allah! Grant me such a kingdom (in this world), that no one will enjoy the same after me.”
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam that this Dua was also accepted by Allah Ta’ala.
The third Dua, “O Allah! Anyone who performs Salaah in Masjidul Aqsa, let him return like the day his mother gave birth to him.”
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam mentioned, “I have hope that this Dua will also be accepted.”
The incident of Qadhi Abu Bakr Baghdadi Rahmatullahi Alaihi
Once, Qari Abu Bakr Baghdadi Rahmatullahi Alaihi was in Makkah Sharif. He was very hungry and left his room in search of food. He came across a package on the road. He picked up the package and took it home. When he opened it, he found a silken cloth wrapped around a pearl necklace. Never before had he seen a necklace of such beauty. After some time, he left his house and heard an elderly person announcing that if anyone finds the packet and returns it, then he will be rewarded with 500 gold coins. So Qadhi Abu Bakr Baghdadi thought to himself that he does not have food in his house-if he returns the necklace, he will receive the money and his needs will be fulfilled.
He took the elderly man home and presented the necklace to him. As promised, the elderly man handed over the gold coins to Qadhi Sahib. At that moment, Allah Ta’ala put it into his heart that it was his right to return the necklace to the elderly man. Despite the elderly man happily giving him a reward in return, and him so desperately needing it, he trampled his desire and refused the coins from the elderly man.
Sometime thereafter, Qadhi Abu Bakr Baghdadi boarded a ship. At some point, the ship ran into trouble and sank. Most of the people drowned, but Qadhi Sahib was saved and washed up on an island. On the island, he found a Masjid. He entered the Masjid and found a Quraan inside. He took the Quraan Sharif and started to recite. The locals heard him and requested him to lead them in Salaah and teach them Quraan Sharif as they didn’t have an Imaam. He became their Imaam and they would present him with many gifts. This was how Allah Ta’ala began providing for him.
One day, he found a book in the Masjid with torn pages. He put the pages together and started reading it. When the people came in and found him reading, they realized that he was a literate man and requested him to educate their children. So on one hand he was their Deeni Ustaadh and on the other hand, their secular teacher. They were so happy with him, they offered the hand of an orphan girl in their community who was wealthy and beautiful in marriage. Initially he was hesitant, but they insisted so he agreed.
In those days, it was not uncommon for the couple not to see each other before marriage. And this is how Qadhi Sahib was married. After the Nikah, when he met her and she removed her Niqaab, his eyes became fixed on her neck. The people were disappointed in him. They said she is such a beautiful girl but he is more interested in the jewellery around her neck. He responded to them saying that they did not know the story behind the necklace she was wearing. It was the same necklace that he found and returned to the elderly man in Makkah. He then went on to explain to them the incident. They then told Qadhi Abu Bakr Baghdadi that the elderly man was this girl’s father. On his return from Makkah he told them that all his life he had never met a honest Muslim like Qadhi Abu Bakr Baghdadi Rahmatullahi Alaihi. The elderly man expressed that if he could meet Qadhi Sahib just once more, he would give his daughter’s hand in marriage to him. He passed way, but his Dua was so sincere that Allah Ta’ala made means and ways for it to materialize.
Not long after their Nikah, she bore two sons and thereafter, she passed away. Sometime later, his sons also passed away. So this necklace first came to him and his sons in inheritance. And subsequently, he became the sole inheritor. When he decided to sell it, it was valued now at 100 000 gold coins. He was initially offered 500 gold coins for returning the necklace. Through suppression of his Nafs, he now acquired 100 000 gold coins from its sale. This was the result of Taqwa and honesty.
May Allah Ta’ala grant us all Taufeeq. Ameen!
