Assisting Aged Parents

QUESTION:

I am a woman with some health issues and I have 2 young children. My parents have aged and are experiencing financial difficulties. Both my parents work hard and are unable to make ends meet. I have 3 brothers, 2 of whom are working and trying to help my parents. I have been trying to sell from home to help my parents but my husband feels I’m not obligated to do so, and has been preventing me. Although I don’t make much, I have been able to help them. Also, I live very far away and am unable to help them in other ways. Am I obliged to obey my husband in this matter? What are my obligations as a daughter to my ageing parents?

ANSWER:

It is the responsibility of both sons and daughters to equally contribute towards their aged parent’s expenses. You should request your husband to permit you to financially assist your parents by selling from the house. If he refuses to permit you, then you should obey him or else this will result in problems in your home. In this instance, the responsibility of supporting your parents will fall away from you if you do not have the funds to support them.

ولو كان له ابنان فنفقته عليهما على السواء وكذا إذا كان له ابن وبنت ولا يفضل الذكر على الأنثى في النفقة؛ لاستوائهما في سبب الوجوب وهو الولادة (بدائع الصنائع ص32 ج4)

ويجب على الأولاد ذكورهم وإناثهم نفقة الوالدين (البناية شرح الهداية ص699 ج5)

وَإِذَا كَانَ الْأَوْلَادُ ذُكُورًا وَإِنَاثًا مُوسِرِينَ فَنَفَقَةُ الْأَبَوَيْنِ عَلَيْهِمْ بِالسَّوِيَّةِ فِي أَظْهَرِ الرِّوَايَتَيْنِ (المبسوط للسرخسي ص222 ج5)

Maulana Abraar-ul-Haqq Saheb Rahimahullah has mentioned 14 points regarding the rights of parents. 7 points pertaining to fulfilling their rights during their lifetime, and 7 points regarding fulfilling their rights after their demise:

Seven rights during their lifetime:

1. To respect them.
2. To have love and affection for them.
3. To obey them (in matters which do not contradict the commands of Allah Ta’ala).
4. To serve them.
5. To bring ease and comfort to them.
6. To take care of all their needs.
7. To visit them often.

Seven Rights after their Demise:

1. To beg Allah Ta’ala to shower His mercy upon them and beg Allah for their forgiveness.
2. To regularly convey Thawaab (reward) to them (by giving out Sadaqah and doing Nafl Ibaadah, etc. on their behalf).
3. To respect and honour their relatives, friends and associates.
4. To assist and help their relatives, friends and associates according to your ability and means.
5. To pay off their debts and to return any trust.
6. To execute their permissible bequests.
7. To visit their graves often (this applies to males only).

Re:- Orchards of love Pg.59

ALLAH TA’ALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST!

ANSWERED BY:

Maulana Abdul Kader Fazlani

Date: 19 Dhul Qa’dah 1445 / 28 May 2024

CHECKED AND APPROVED BY:

Mufti Mohammed Desai Saheb