Befriending Younger Children
QUESTION:
I am an 18 year old male. Is it appropriate for me to befriend 13 year old boys without any evil intention?
ANSWER:
We strongly advise that you refrain from befriending such young boys as this can be disastrous, especially in the current time of Fitnah. One never knows when one can fall into the web of Nafs and Shaytaan. Below, we have cited a snippet from the Islaahi Majlis (Spiritual Discourses) of Mufti Muhammad Desai Rahimahullah regarding associating and befriending young boys:
Advice to Madrassah Educators
Hadrat Hakeem Akhtar Sahib Rahimahullah once addressed the principals and Asaatizah (teachers) of the Madrassahs. Hadrat addressed them with a warning not to take any Khidmah (service) from young boys (Amrads), particularly having them massage or press the head or body. These boys (who are beardless) should be avoided as therein lies attraction. Those youth who have just the slightest growth of beard are included here as well because Shaytaan manipulates their beauty and increases attraction towards them.
Many a time when a man strays (by getting involved with a woman or young boy), he later laments that Allah Ta’ala blessed him with a beautiful wife at home, yet he involved himself with a woman from the street or a young boy. We should be wary of the plots of Shaytaan.
Allaamah Shaami Rahmatullahi Alaih writes that some of the violators of Shari’ah give preference to those boys who have just attained Buloogh (who have just a few strands of facial hair) over those who have no trace of a beard.
مَطْلَبٌ فِي النَّظَرِ إلَى وَجْهِ الْأَمْرَدِ (قَوْلُهُ كَوَجْهِ أَمْرَدَ) هُوَ الشَّابُّ الَّذِي طَرَّ شَارِبُهُ وَلَمْ تَنْبُتْ لِحْيَتُهُ قَامُوسٌ. قَالَ فِي الْمُلْتَقَطِ: الْغُلَامُ إذَا بَلَغَ مَبْلَغَ الرِّجَالِ وَلَمْ يَكُنْ صَبِيحًا فَحُكْمُهُ حُكْمُ الرِّجَالِ، وَإِنْ كَانَ صَبِيحًا فَحُكْمُهُ حُكْمُ النِّسَاءِ، وَهُوَ عَوْرَةٌ مِنْ فَوْقِهِ إلَى قَدَمِهِ. قَالَ السَّيِّدُ الْإِمَامُ أَبُو الْقَاسِمِ: يَعْنِي لَا يَحِلُّ النَّظَرُ إلَيْهِ عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ. وَأَمَّا الْخَلْوَةُ وَالنَّظَرُ إلَيْهِ لَا عَنْ شَهْوَةٍ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ، وَلِهَذَا لَمْ يُؤْمَرْ بِالنِّقَابِ. اهـ. أَقُولُ: وَهَذَا شَامِلٌ لِمَنْ نَبَتَ عَذَارُهُ، بَلْ بَعْضُ الْفَسَقَةِ يُفَضِّلُهُ عَلَى الْأَمْرَدِ خَالِي الْعِذَارِ. (رد المحتار ص407 ج1)
Sheikh Sa’adi explains this text of Shaami through an analogy. On a cloudy day, the moon is still in the sky, but due to the cloud cover, we cannot see the clouds. If the clouds part or move, the moon will become visible. The dark clouds accentuate the beauty of the bright moon. Likewise, those few strands of the beard that have grown on the face, make the face more attractive. This leads a person to incline towards that boy and Fitnah is initiated.
Mashaa’ikh (Spiritual Guides) should be careful before their Mureeds. Hadrat Hakeem Akhtar Sahib Rahimahullah addressed the Mashaaikh saying that, even with their young Mureeds who are sincere in their actions, they should exercise caution. Hadrat Hakeem Akhtar Sahib Rahimahullah warned that the Mashaaikh are examples to their disciples hence, their behaviour and actions are always under scrutiny. By them engaging the young boys to massage oil into their heads, back, feet etc. it could be misconstrued later on and attributed to the Sheikh in a wrong manner. Such Fitnah will arise that will be unable to describe, let alone talk about.
Maulana Jalaaludin Rumi Rahmatullahi Alaih said regarding men, to fear Allah Ta’ala with regards to these desires as they are like Haidh for a man. To explain this statement, just like a woman experiencing her menstrual cycle is prohibited from making Salaah and being in the court of Allah Ta’ala, so to say, a man who is involved in this Fitnah with young boys is deemed unworthy of being in the court of Allah Ta’ala until he repents.
The Ulama have mentioned two things that will destroy the Ummah, viz. women and young boys. Once a person is involved in either, he loses all peace of mind and life becomes Jahannam for him on earth.
The Disastrous Effect of Inclining to Young Boys
Hadrat Hakeem Akhtar Sahib Rahimahullah mentions in Khanpur, India, a person who kept company with the pious inclined towards a young boy who was involved in Khidmah. The boy’s name was Akbar Hussein. Due to this man’s heart turning away from Allah Ta’ala because of this inclination, when he would start his Salaah, instead of saying, “الله اكبر ” he would say “Akbar Hussein”!
The caution of the Pious Predecessors
Imaam Abu Hanifa Rahimahullah, a great jurist, had a student, Imaam Mohammed bin Hassan Ash Shaybani. He was a young boy when he attended the lesson of Imaam Abu Hanifa Rahmatullahi Alaih. Imaam Abu Hanifa Rahimahullah told him to sit behind him in the lesson. This was out of precaution that he might be distracted by the young boy. Despite Imaam Abu Hanifa Rahimahullah having complete Taqwa, he was still so particular.
Among the students of Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi Rahimahullah was Mufti Muhammed Shafi Sahib Rahmatullahi Alaih and Maulana Zafar Ahmad Rahmani Rahmatullahi Alaih. Maulana Thanvi Rahimahullah told his nephew, Maulana Shabbir Ali Sahib, that when he is alone in his room and writing the Tafseer of Bayaanul Quraan, he should not send any of the young boys to him, for fear of Fitnah.
Hadrat Hakeem Akhtar Rahimahullah recounts an Arab boy who studied in Pakistan. Hadrat would communicate with him in Arabic. One day, out of sympathy for the boy being far from his home, Hadrat told the students to press the boy’s feet. When they started, the boy exclaimed, “Kahraba!” which implied something like an electric shock or current. He feared that if they do this, it will ignite a current in the body which will lead to Fitnah.
Hadrat speaks of those who got involved in wrong due to their gaze or illicit relations with the opposite gender, including young boys. The effect is that Allah Ta’ala closes their hearts to good actions, their minds weaken and they experience pain in their waist area. They experience dizziness and momentary black-outs.
These are the consequences in Dunya. One should repent sincerely and change one’s ways in order to safeguard one’s Aakhirah!
ALLAH TA’ALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:
Mufti Abdul Kader Fazlani
Date: 12 Shawwaal 1447 / 01 April 2026
CHECKED AND APPROVED BY:
Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb