Dressing inappropriately in the home

Question:-

I got married this year and I live with my mother-in-law. My husband roams around the house with short-shorts and no T-shirt in front of my mother-in-law and sister-in-laws. I’ve told him many times that it isn’t decent and he should wear a T- shirt but he doesn’t listen and says that when he was younger, he used to wear even shorter shorts. Please advise as to how I could change this habit of his and explain to him that is wrong for him to walk around like that in the house

Also my mother-in-law comes to our room at times without a trouser to use our bathroom, and my sister-in-laws also dress very indecently around my husband. My father-in-law has passed away. Please advise as to how I can solve this problem.

Answer:-

It is really pleasing to note that you are concerned about maintaining Hayaa within the home. This is actually an indication of your Imaan. Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam is reported to have said, “Hayaa (modesty) is part of Imaan.”

It is understood that there is no Shari’ee Purdah between a mother and son, or brother and sister, but even so, it is necessary to dress appropriately in the home, ensuring that the Satr is properly concealed. It is incorrect to expose the Satr before one’s Mahaarim. You are newly married and will be having children in the near future Insha’Allah. Now, if these children grow up in an environment where proper dressing is not observed, then it is very possible that they too, will then dress immodestly and inappropriately in and out of the home, which can lead to innumerable forms of wrongs and sin.

We therefore suggest that you explain the importance of dressing appropriately to your in-laws. One way of doing so is by conducting Taleem daily in the home for at least five minutes with the entire family, and after reading the Fadhaa’il-e-Aamaal, explain one Mas’ala with regard to Purdah and Hayaa daily with love and compassion. You shouldn’t force the issue on them nor should you dictate to them as to what should be done. Instead, you should educate them with respect and honour. By conducting Taleem in the home, there is hope that Allah Ta’ala will guide them Insha’Allah. These matters should also be explained to your husband when he is in a good and pleasant mood. If he rectifies his life, then this will serve as an example for the rest of the family.

Also, you should make Dua for them daily. You may also keep some Nafl fast and give Sadaqah with the intention that they correct their matters. We, as Muslims, should desire that every believer is rightly guided. May Allah Ta’ala open their hearts towards righteousness and grant them the correct understanding, Aameen!

ALLAH TA’ALA KNOWS BEST!

ANSWERED BY:

Mufti Mohammed Desai

Date: 05 Jumadal Ula 1444 / 30 November 2022