Question:-
If a girl’s menstrual cycle is affected due to suffering from some kind of disease such as ‘PCOS’, how should she respond to marriage proposals? If she continues the match-searching process, wouldn’t it be counted as being dishonest? If she explains her medical condition, this might affect her privacy.
Answer:-
There are different categories of men. Some men are accommodating and patient, and will work through the illness with their spouses. Their only focus in the marriage is not attaining sexual gratification and pleasure, but rather fulfilling the great Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam and being protected from the disobedience of Allah Ta’ala, and thereby gaining close proximity to their Creator.
On the other hand, there are those men whose primary focus in the marriage is sexual gratification and pleasure. In the absence of such pleasure and enjoyment, the marriage could result in turmoil, and eventually terminate. In the case of PCOS, many women experience irregular cycles, excessive hair growth, acne and obesity. Obviously, there is treatment available for these symptoms, but before one is fully cured or if the treatment proves unsuccessful, some men could become frustrated and make it a reason to terminate the marriage. Nowadays, there are many women suffering with the above disease, yet they are happily married. In conclusion, it depends on the nature and temperament of the man.
We understand from your query that you are receiving marriage proposals. If you are inclined towards the proposal then you should make Istikhaarah first to confirm your decision. Once, you are certain that you wouldn’t mind accepting a particular proposal since the Istikhaarah has proven positive, then you should get your father to inform the boy’s party of the illness that you are experiencing. Without doubt, it is a private matter, but as explained above, that some might be willing to live with it, particularly if they are getting a righteous and pious wife that will be of benefit and service to them in matters of Deen. If they (the boy’s side) are willing to go ahead with the marriage (after being informed of the illness), then there is no problem in you accepting the proposal (particularly if everything seems positive on your side). Based on the above, allowing potential candidates to come and see you will not be considered as dishonesty, as you will eventually be informing them of the illness, if both parties are inclined towards the marriage. It is not necessary for you to inform them of the illness if there isn’t any inclination towards marriage.
We do hope that the above explanation answers your query.
ALLAH TA’ALA KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:-
Mufti Mohammed Desai
Date: 06 Rajab 1443 / 08 February 2022
