QUESTION:
Is there such thing as marital rape in Islam? Is consent necessary each time for either partner? Can a spouse caress/fondle the other at any given time without consent?
ANSWER:
One of the objectives of marriage is to safeguard one’s chastity. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam stated, “Whoever has the ability of getting married, then he should get married as it is a means of lowering the gaze and protecting the private part.”
عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي مَعَ عَبْدِ اللهِ ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ، فَقَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ (صحيح البخاري).
Another Hadith states,
إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَهُ إِلَى فِرَاشِهِ فَلَمْ تَأْتِهِ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَيْهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تُصْبِحَ (صحيح مسلم)
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “If a man calls his wife to his bed but she refuses, and as a result he spends the night angry with her, then the angels continue cursing her until the morning.”
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ : قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِذَا بَاتَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ مُهَاجِرَةً فِرَاشَ زَوْجِهَا لَعَنَتْهَا الْمَلاَئِكَةُ حَتَّى تَرْجِعَ (صحيح البخاري)
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: If a woman spends the night deserting her husband’s bed (does not sleep with him), then the angels curse her until she returns (to her husband).
Yet another narration states that if the husband calls the wife to fulfil his need, then she should respond even if she is busy cooking.
وَأخرج ابْن أبي شيبَة وَالتِّرْمِذِيّ وَحسنه النَّسَائِيّ وَالْبَيْهَقِيّ عَن طلق بن عَليّ سَمِعت النَّبِي صلى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسلم يَقُول: إِذا دَعَا الرجل امْرَأَته لِحَاجَتِهِ فلتجبه وَإِن كَانَت على التَّنور
After understanding the above-mentioned Ahadith, one would conclude that a woman should always be ready to fulfil the need of her husband without him having to seek her consent. On expressing his desire to fulfil his need with her, she should avail herself immediately as this is the most effective manner of protecting one’s chastity. Yes, if the wife is not well and cannot fulfil the right of the husband, then this is a different matter all together, but under normal circumstances she should always be ready to satisfy his desires in a Halaal manner. In conclusion, the concept of ‘marital rape’ has no position in Shariah; rather it is a Kuffar concept where a man is considered to be a rapist if he doesn’t take consent from his wife before intimacy. However, this in no way means that a man must be forceful in his approach; rather Shariah has taught us to be gentle in all matters. The Hadith states, “Allah Ta’ala loves gentleness in all matters.” May Allah Ta’ala guide the Ummah towards the correct understanding. Ameen!
ALLAH TA’ALA IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:
Maulana Ahmed Saeed
Date: 15 Muharram 1446 / 22 July 2024
CHECKED AND APPROVED BY:
Mufti Mohammed Desai
