The role of the husband and wife interchanging
QUESTION:-
An Alim mentioned in his Bayaan regarding the role of the husband and wife having changed nowadays, as opposed to 20 or 30 years ago. Maulana recalled that in the 1970’s and 1980’s, the husband would be outside the kitchen (gone out to work), while the wife was in the kitchen. As the 1990’s came in, the husband would be in the kitchen getting himself a drink of water. Now, in the 21st century, the husband is expected to be at the stove as well i.e. the husband should play an equal role to the wife in preparation of meals and housework. Can Muftisahib comment on this statement?
ANSWER:-
The teachings of Deen were completed and perfected in the lifetime of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam. On the occasion of Hajjatul Widaa, the following verses of the Quraan Sharif were revealed, “Today, I have perfected your Deen for you (leaving no room for additions and omissions), completed my bounty upon you, and chosen Islam as your Deen.” [Surah Maa’idah, Verse 3]
Hence, the laws and teachings of Deen were completed and perfected during the lifetime of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam, and will remain until the day of Qiyaamah Insha’Allah. Now, in the very lifetime of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he entrusted the internal duties of the home (such as cooking, cleaning, attending to the children, etc. to Hadrat Fatima Radiallahu Anha, and the external duties of the home to Hadrat Ali Radiallahu Anhu. This is in total conformity with the Quraan Sharif as mentioned in Surah Ahzaab, “Remain in your home and do not make a display of yourselves as was the practice of the former period of ignorance ……” This verse of the Quraan Sharif collaborates the teachings of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam that the female should remain at home. Yet another verse of Surah Rum states, “Also amongst His Aayaat is that He has created spouses for you from yourselves so that you may find solace (peace and rest) with her……” If the wife remains at home and attends to the household chores, then the husband will find peace and comfort in her when he returns home after a stressful day’s work, as she will be awaiting his arrival and prepared to serve him, for which she will be rewarded.
The West has undoubtedly destroyed the enjoyment and comfort of life by driving our women out of their homes. She, too, is now required to toil the entire day as an employee, and return home exhausted in the evening. Hence, she demands equality in all matters; so, she will have a turn to cook and similarly, the husband must also have a turn to cook and serve her, whereas this is against the teachings of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Hence, we are faced with so many complications in our marriages. Yes, it is undoubtedly the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam for men to assist in the home, and by doing so one will be rewarded, but this should not be enforced upon him as a duty. Likewise, it is his duty to earn and provide for his family, and this duty cannot be enforced upon the wife.
It is unfortunate that our scholars who were supposed to be advocating and promoting the teachings of Deen and the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam, are now promoting ideologies of the West. If the female is not required to cook and serve her family, then she will be left with ample free time and will have to fill the gap, usually by watching television, surfing the internet, going shopping, jogging, frequenting the gym, or serving as a career woman, etc. In many instances, the domestic helper attends to the household chores and to the upbringing of the children. Now, instead of serving her family and attaining great reward, she will be involved in various forms of wrong. This is greatest harm of discarding the teachings of our Deen and opting for the lifestyle of the West. May Allah protect us all and guide us towards righteousness. Ameen!
ALLAH TA’ALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:-
Mufti Mohammed Desai
Date:- 18 Dhul Qa’dah 1444 / English Date: 08 June 2023