Working with a colleague that hurt one in the past
Question:-
I need some advice please Mufti Saheb. I’m currently helping out at an institute and I’ve recently learnt that I will be working with a particular person whom in the past, has caused much grief and hurt to me. Of course, I’ve forgiven her but I can’t seem to forget, or let go of all that I’ve felt, and it was my resolution to just stay away from her as best as I can. Now, my first reaction was to just leave the institute all together but that might not be a rational decision. Please help!
Answer:-
Masha’Allah! You have taken the correct decision in taking guidance on these matters. This attitude will definitely take you very far in life, Insha’Allah. The Quraan Sharif also states, “Ask the people of knowledge if you do not know.” [Re: Surah Nahl, Verse 43.]
Coming to your query, always remember and keep in mind that, the world is a terrible place where people generally harm others. If we maintain this mindset, then we will expect others to inconvenience us at some time or the other. However, if they happen to be kind to us, then we should be surprised that people are actually being kind. If you adopt this type of attitude, then your life will pass in a comfortable manner. This is the advice of Hajee Imdaadullah Saheb Muhajir Makki Rahimahullah, who was the Sheikh of great Ulama such Hadrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Saheb Thanvi Rahimahullah and Hadrat Maulana Rasheed Ahmed Saheb Gangohi Rahimahullah.
Secondly, no matter where we work, we will always have enemies. These enemies will crop up at some time or the other, as there is no institute in the world that is free of jealousy. If we are going to worry about them, we will never progress. Instead, we will always be distressed. Simply greet these people and move on with our work. Keep ourselves occupied and busy at all times so we have no time for them. Just discuss whatever is necessary.
Thirdly, recite ‘Ya Subbuhu, Ya Quddusu, Ya Ghafooru, Ya Wadoodu’ excessively, and Insha’Allah, things will always turn out to be in your favour.
Lastly, remember that as long as you have ill-feelings for this person, you will be restless and uneasy. Why should we be restless because of someone else? So, make Dua to Allah to clean your heart and increase this person in every way. This will be difficult to do but within a few days, you will be at total ease Insha’Allah. If after a few months you feel uneasy again, then again repeat the procedure and Insha’Allah you will be at ease. However, don’t let Shaytaan get the upper hand and deceive you by getting you involved in Gheebat, otherwise you will be transferring all your good deeds into this person’s account, and surely you wouldn’t want that. May Allah Ta’ala make it easy and guide you at all times. Ameen!
ALLAH TA’ALA KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:
Mufti Mohammed Desai
Date: 25 Jumadal Ukhra 1444 / 18 January 2023