Family Discord

QUESTION:

What is the best way to deal with difficult family members who treat a person poorly, speak negatively about him, constantly pick on him, and shift the blame onto him instead of accepting responsibility?

ANSWER:

The best way to win the heart of anyone is to portray good Akhlaaq and do not retaliate. This is the teaching of Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.

صل من قطعك، وأحسن إلى من أساء إليك، وقل الحق ولو على نفسك (كنز العمال #6929)

“Join ties with the one who server ties with you, the one who treats you in an evil manner treat him well and speak the truth even though it may be against you.”

When the Nabi of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was blessed with Nubuwwah, his own family members scoffed and ridiculed him, but never did Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam retaliate. After some time, some of his family members accepted Islam and became great luminaries of their time. Hence, you should adopt the same approach; do not retaliate, portray good Akhlaaq instead, and give some gifts. This will Insha’Allah restore the relationship. Also, make Dua to Allah Ta’ala to unite the hearts of all the family members. Finally, you may also request a senior Aalim of your town to mediate between the family members.

ALLAH TA’ALA ALONE IN HIS INFINITE KNOWLEDGE KNOWS BEST!

ANSWERED BY:

Mufti Abdul Kader Fazlani

Date: 10 Safar 1447 / 05 August 2025

CHECKED AND APPROVED BY:

Mufti Yacoob Vally Saheb