Seeing a girl with the intention of marriage
Question:-
A family is interested in me (for their daughter) and my parents have agreed to meet them. What should be done when meeting a family which is interested in you for marriage for the very first time? What questions should I ask the girl and her parents? What qualities should we look for? How would we know that this is a good girl? Do you recommend any books?
Answer:-
Allah Taála reward you for asking such a pertinent question and always wanting to act in accordance to the Shariah! By following the Shariah and ultimately pleasing Allah Taála, one will always be blessed in this world and the hereafter.
In regards to seeing a girl with the intention of marriage, one is only permitted to take a cursory glance at the girl whilst passing by her, and nothing more. This is the method of seeing a girl when intending marriage. One should not engage in any form of conversation with the girl, nor ask her any questions, nor should one be concerned with observing any particular qualities in her. Your mother and other family ladies may engage in general conversation with the girl, and thereby get a fair idea with regards to her.
However, this is just at surface level to attain some degree of contentment and ease. It is necessary to seek guidance from Allah Taála in the matter by making Istikhaarah as human beings can easily err in their decisions. If the Istikhaarah is positive and you are also inclined towards going ahead with the marriage, then you should propose to the girl without delay and have the marriage solemnized.
There are many books that you may refer to before marriage such as ‘Á gift to the husband’ for males, and ‘A gift to the wife’ for females. Reading such literature will prove extremely beneficial InshaÁllah. May Allah Taála guide you in all your matters and grant you the best in Dunya and Aakhirah. Ameen!