Question:-
I would like to know if it is permissible for a person to advertise themselves on websites which help to find suitable spouses. The one I am referring to is, “The Journey to Nikah” website, where you put in your age, height, complexion and what type of spouse you are looking for. A boy, or girl, can message asking for Mahr details. This message goes through an admin before the message is delivered.
Answer:-
It is the belief of every believing man and woman, that Allah Ta’ala has destined everything that is to transpire in one’s life, from the point of birth until the point of demise. Every aspect of our life has been covered (under the belief of Taqdeer) and nothing remains outstanding. A believer should, therefore, always be happy with the decision of Allah Ta’ala as there exists only good therein.
Allah Ta’ala is Al-Hakeem (the All-Wise), and the actions of that Being who is All-Wise, can never be void of wisdom. Rather, it is always full of wisdom whether we can comprehend it, or not. Amongst the various things that Allah Ta’ala has decreed is the exact time of marriage and the person that one will marry. We generally become restless and impatient (when there is a slight delay – that is in our understanding) but Allah’s timing is absolutely perfect, thus, one’s future spouse will arrive at the most suitable time and the Nikah will take place in the best possible manner.
When this matter had already been destined before birth, then what is the need to adopt a shameless manner of advertising ourselves on marital websites. If a boy is destined to marry a particular girl, then Allah Ta’ala will direct him to her parents in a respectable and honourable manner. Females advertising their availability for marriage has never been our way of life. On the contrary, this immodest system of “introductions” has become rife in perhaps the last two to three decades. It is generally the shameless non-Muslim women that adopt such methods, but this has never been the way of our Muslim women.
Previously, young boys that were ready for marriage would go along with their parents in an honourable manner to see suitable partners (for marriage), and then married with the Mashwera and Duas of their parents if they were happy with the girl. As a result, they enjoyed unlimited Barakah and goodness in their marriages which lasted until they left this very world, and it is the same marital bond that will be transferred over and enjoyed in Jannah as well, Insha’Allah. However, since our younger generation have taken the matter into their own hands and began choosing their own marital partners (either through the internet, through chat rooms, social media, dating etc. which are obviously Haraam) and without the guidance of the seniors, the rate of divorces in the Muslim communities have also escalated tremendously.
Our success lies therefore, in returning to the old school of thought and following the way of our parents and grandparents. Also, in doing so, one will be adopting the path of ‘Hayaa – modesty’ which holds an extremely important role in Islam. Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam is reported to have said, “Hayaa and Imaan are inseparable qualities. When any one of them is removed, then the other will also be removed.” If a person loses his/her Imaan (Allah forbid!) then modesty will not remain in a person. The behaviour of the Kuffar is a testimony to this Hadith. At the same time, when shame leaves a person, then gradually the Imaan of a person will also be destroyed. The rate of apostasy in the Ummah is no secret any longer. May Allah Ta’ala save us!
Many pious people don’t even mention the names of their womenfolk before Ghair Mahram men but instead, refer to them as their family or ‘Apa’ etc. in conversation. When a Nikah notice is put up on the Masjid board, then the bride is referred to as ‘daughter of so and so’ with the actual name of the bride being withheld. We are living in a time of Fitnah and extreme caution is necessary in all such matters. Women should be fully protected and there should be no complacency at all.
In conclusion, we advise that you refrain from advertising your profile on any marriage website, but remain patient and be pleased with the decision of Allah Ta’ala. The spouse that Allah Ta’ala has selected for you will come to you in a perfect manner and at the most appropriate timing, with dignity and honour.
ALLAH TA’ALA KNOWS BEST!
ANSWERED BY:
Mufti Mohammed Desai
Date: 25 Rajab 1443 / 27 February 2022
